it’s between you and the road.

I see a lot of people on my morning runs, and I love that.

I see old team members and coaches. I see work friends and “regulars” that I haven’t officially met but feel like I know. I see brand new faces. Then when I get home I see my boyfriend who’s always fresh from a bike ride.

We’re all attending the sweaty-hot sufferfest for our own reasons while others are hitting snooze. Go us!

running tampa bay

Unfortunately, when that sufferfest is more suffer than fest I get bitter and resent the runners making it look easy (more on my Dystonia here); the ones chatting away with a buddy or mouthing the words to what I will only assume is Beyoncé.

It’s hard not to, right? They have something I don’t: a happy and cooperative nervous system, a partner or two, an ad-free Spotify subscription. Speculation.

But what I really need to do is to keep all of those people out of it. This marathon goal and each run that fills up my training log is between me and the road and the Backstreet Boys who serenade me along the way. 

I don’t deserve the negative feelings of comparison and R doesn’t deserve the cold shoulder when I hobble home dirty, defeated, and whining about an 11 min/mile pace. *le sigh*

I think it’s time to download some new Queen Bey and quit the bellyaching.

Are you a solo runner? Do you run with friends? What do you jam to during your workouts?

a pace disclaimer.

My collegiate cross country and track career produced some of my best running.

I was strong and confident and fast. My training runs averaged 6:30-7:30 min/mile pace depending on the distance and how I was feeling. My races reflected the hard work; I helped lead our team to nationals and nabbed a steeplechase school record.

I felt unstoppable.

After developing Dystonia, my pace slowed month after month and year after year. I was stopped. Dominating any sort of race or PR is a distant memory. These days, my pace averages 9:45-10:30 min/mile depending on how much I need to walk.

Before I started marathon training I never considered sharing my pace because I’m not proud of it.

Here are the stats from my first day of marathon training. 

marathon training run nike+

Miles: 5.4
Time: 53:38
Pace: 9 mins 56 secs

I was happy when I finished but a little ashamed. And not ready to share my times or pace. It’s slow for this once-a-runner.

Before I posted anything, I wanted to put a disclaimer on it: I have Dystonia! I have no control over my legs. Or how fast they let me go. Or sometimes even how far they let me go. Throw me a bone here.

Then I thought,Maybe I should cut the crap and be proud that I’m even out there.”

This process is nothing if not humbling.My college brain will just have to man up because this adventure doesn’t need any disclaimers.

my marathon training game plan.

Merp.

bike ride

Want to know what’s more frightening than a Monday and my face in those glasses? MARATHON TRAINING. AND IT STARTS TOMORROW.

Screen Shot 2015-08-31 at 5.05.24 PM
127 days away. Cue: panic.

Half marathons were my distance of choice before Dystonia wrecked havoc in my body, so this is going to be a brand new, totally bonkers experience. But I’m ready to embrace the suck, and I can’t wait to look back on training and know it was all worth it.

My game plan for the next fourth months of training is as follows:

Get new shoes.

Post weekly recaps.

Muck up your insta feed.

Do a giveaway. (STAY TUNED.)

Hydrate.

Pre-apologize to R for tears and offed toenails.

Bulk-buy nut butters and trail mix.

Now. Want to see my weekend? It was white girl fab what with brunching, flipping through magazines, and sipping on *$. It was exactly what I needed.

breakfast brunch eggs
I was so sad when I finished. 

fall outfits
Obsessed with these outfits. Why oh why does Florida protest Fall?

I also may or may not have purchased a pair of jelly sandals on Saturday. When I can’t sleep deep into the night my fingers go wild and all of a sudden I have an inbox filled with order confirmation numbers. #facepalm

starbucks date
Starbucks’ cold brew changed my life. It’s sweet and smooth going down; no need to add a thing.

What did your weekend look like? Who’s got marathon wisdom for me?

do you bulu?

One of the worst things about wanting to try new products is sometimes you have to buy a whole box. So uncool.

And with my luck they’ll end up tasting like chalk or expired strawberry jam or just a sad sad excuse for chocolate and then I’m stuck with the whole box.

But one of the coolest things is when you can try a sample before you’re ready to make a life commitment to a granola bar. Enter: my Sweat Pink ambassadorship through Fit Approach and Bulu Box.

Bulu Box is a health, nutrition, and weight loss subscription service that sends out 4-5 product samples each month in a loud orange box that screams: GET EXCITED FOR FUN-SIZED PRODUCTS.

bulu box 2bulu box

I was pumped when I received my box. Here’s what I got.

Quest Nutrition Protein Powder Packets. Disclaimer: I may or may not have tweeted that Quest Bars are just adult candy bars. I just believe that real foods with real protein are a better source of fuel. BUT, Bulu sent me peanut butter flavored powder. Do they know that on a personal level I love nut butters more than some of my relatives? I mixed a packet with some water and dipped fruit in it and didn’t hate it. I probably won’t buy it, but it was tasty.

Movit Energy Gummies. I’m excited to try these on my next long weekend bike ride. I usually share a sleeve of Clif Shot Bloks with my boyfriend, so these will be new and he can have them all to himself.

Mediterra Nutritional Bars. No. Nope. Nopeity nope. These are a great idea in theory but I was just not into it. I’ll stick to sweet granola bars.

Yerba Prima Daily Fiber Formula. In general, I believe that it’s easy to get enough fiber from nutritious and delicious foods, so I aim to get enough that way. And I’m also reg (TMI?) so I’m not sure this one’s for me.

Earth’s Care Anti-Itch Cream. I’m going to overlook the fact that this smells like Icy Hot (and all painful track memories associated with that scent) and focus on how helpful this will be when my skin is insanely dry and gross. Can’t wait to try this one out.

Overall I’m pretty happy with what I got. It’s fun to try new stuff. If you want to get in on this goodness, head over to BuluBox.com and get 50% off your first box with code SWEATPINK. 

Do you get box subscriptions?

techless run.

Get running stuff ready the night before = no fuss in the morning.

It’s simple math that every athlete and/or human being on the planet understands. You know, that “fail to plan, plan to fail” BS that’s so true it’s annoying.

Last night I failed at planning. After R and I caught up on the newest show, Public Morals, I sunk into my pillow and didn’t surface until my alarm this morning.

I had nothing ready. My shorts and top and sports bra and socks and shoes and headphones and keys were all in separate spots.

Drunk on sleep, I stumbled around my apartment for 15 minutes trying to find everything. My iPod was nowhere to be found, my headphones basket-weaved themselves together overnight and my Nike+ watch wasn’t charged.

SCREW IT! I yelled it out loud from the living room, threw on the crappiest shoes I could find, shoved my keys in a Nike sports bra that’s seen more races than I can remember, and finally hit the road.

Only three minutes late.

After all that I was mentally checked out. This run is gonna suck anyway, I thought. 

The thing is, IT DIDN’T.

Yeah, it was still tough with my Dystonia. Yeah, I still walked most of the time. Yeah, I wished I were jamming to Jay-Z. But my seven-year-old Pumas and I had a blast.

techless run

I said “good morning” to the regulars and stopped to pet themostadorabledogomggg. Then I made a little more peace with the fact that my Dystonia is here for as long as it wants to be.

Fewer expectations = more fun. 

That’s some more simple math for you.

Tomorrow I plan to hide my iPod, let my watch battery drain, and give those Pumas another run for their money.

the first run after vacation.

“Don’t get mad. Get even.” 

That’s what I kept repeating in my mind during this morning’s run after a five-day running hiatus.

Here’s my mini-log from the last few days…

Friday, Saturday and Sunday — No exercise unless you count fitting myself into a tiiiiiight wedding dress. The weekend was packed with too much fun. 

Monday — Bike trainer slow-pedal and a short HIIT workout. 

Tuesday — 40 mins on the bike and 15 mins of HIIT after work. Woke up feeling like bulllshhh and couldn’t get myself out of bed early. 

Wednesday — The get even run. FINALLY got my act together. Here’s how it went…

IMG_2456

To be honest, I knew a tough run was coming, and maybe that’s why I put off heading out for so long. But I wasn’t mad about it. I just wanted to get even and get it done.

This bad, hard run wasn’t punishment for resting five days. It wasn’t a slap on the wrist for giving myself a break. It wasn’t even about taking my anger out on my Dystonia.

It was about working through the breath that I knew would be hard to get in after five days off. It was about pushing past the tiredness. It was about accepting the soreness that I secretly love to hate. 

Getting mad about a setback in fitness is silly because there’s always something you can do that’s not, well, getting mad. Just starting again is one. Pounding it out on the grass or the pavement is my most favorite form of getting even and getting black out drunk on endorphins.

IMG_0143

Here’s to letting Bayshore really have it during a second session tomorrow morning.

priorities.

I’ve finally figured it all out.

Well, not all of it. Still working on time travel. And how to wear makeup. #never

This past weekend in Buffalo, visiting family, friends, and R’s parents for the first time (!!!) put things in perspective. I thought about my priorities and whether or not they were in the correct order. Read: NOPE.

tampa to buffalo airport

I left tangled in a ball of stress and panic on Thursday night. I came home on Monday feeling grounded and more clear.

I hate to use the word “free” because it’s a little done, but it’s what I felt. I’ve also had to use the word “moist” in certain situations and wasn’t happy about it no matter how well it fit. You win some. You lose some.

hiking zoar valley

Lining up my priorities in priority order is freeing. And this feeling isn’t something you just kinda find. It doesn’t stick its leg out and bruise up your kneecaps. But if you’re lucky it brings people into your life to guide you there so you don’t trip and fall.

hiking zoar valley 2

It’s weightless, figuring out what matters and letting go of what doesn’t. Like skipping a workout or three for big breakfasts and coffee refills. And wine. And farmer’s market apples. And store-bought lasagna.

wedding funmumford village wedding season

It keeps me truly madly deeply in love with my hometown and connects memories with smells and street corners.

taste coffee east aurora
Where R and I met for coffee eons and eons ago.

For the first time in a long time I went with the goddamn flow. We stayed out late all weekend, and got up early all weekend. We went from here to there and back. I nodded, smiled, said “Let’s do it.” and got in the car to enjoy the ride. I sang T. Swift loud and proud. Not sorry, R. You chose me, remember?

swinging gowandahiking gowanda

I think in the past month I’ve forgotten to live a little and do it the way I want.

braymiller's market east aurora 2braymiller's market east aurora

And whether or not you make store-bought lasagna a priority (I highly suggest you do), I can only tell you that it feels real freakin’ good when you finally get the order right.

accept the compliment; your relationship depends on it.

After sweaty living room workouts I like to cool down by washing dishes. I belly up to the sink and let my heart rate come down. And I may or may not intentionally splash myself while I’m elbow deep in suds.

It’s just a silly ritual I enjoy.

Last night, dressed in spandex and a sports bra, I stood in front of the sink letting a crusty saucepan really have it when R came in and complimented me and my hammies.

It was sweet. I could tell he really meant it. But if there’s one thing this runnaroundd is the most insecure about it’s her legs. Can’t help it. I’ve never loved ’em. They’re the biggest part of my body aside from my nose, and I suppose running a million miles doesn’t help.

road trip
QUAD GAME TOO STRONG.

As proud as I should be of them, I didn’t bite. I shoved it off and shut him down. We got quiet. He left the room. I finished the dishes. He went downstairs to gather our clothes from the communal dryers. I showered and climbed into bed.

Bad, bad Lindsay.

The dynamic between two people changes when one person essentially tells the other their opinion is wrong. Or when one person sees something in the other that he or she can’t or doesn’t or won’t see in themselves.

Am I making any sense at all?

What I should’ve done was turn around give him a hug, a kiss, and tell him how thankful I am that someone notices enough to say anything at all.

PSA: Take the compliment. Work what you got. Love your thick quads to death. Save your relationship.

electric love by BØRNS.

I don’t have any words to share with you this evening. Which is funny because, being a writer, people think that deep feelings seep from my pours all hours of the day.

Untrue. We have off days, too, ya feel?

So. I’ll leave you with this electrifying, magnetizing, beyond-brilliant song by BØRNS. I added it to my Spotify playlist two weeks ago and it already has more plays than songs I added years ago.

What are you jamming to these days?

escaping for the day.

It feels good to wake up in a different place every now and then.

Read: not after a night of heavy alcohol consumption.

Read: not after your senior prom.

Read: acceptable after a wine night with the girls.

When the daily grind feels like it’s, well, grinding, it’s time to escape for a little bit.

bikes in the van

On Friday night after work, R and I packed our bags and bikes into his big bad van and headed north to stay with my parents for a night, to jump in their pool, to BBQ on the deck, to soak up some coach time, to love all over my precious kitty children. To bear hug my mom and dad for the first time in over a month.

biking orlando timmy cat

I needed that.

Waking up back home on Sunday morning was tough city. Knowing how much catch-up I had to do made my chest tighten. But more important business came first: coffee and a walk in the sun that ended up being 10 MILES LONG. OOPS.

sunday walk tampa bay

Can we say WRONG TURN(S)? 

It’s like I don’t even know my own city. Sheesh. But walking is one of my favorite things to do so I didn’t hate it until I got home and realized how long it took.

Oy vey. Here’s to Monday, people. May it be very gentle to us all.

morning tea

Where do you go to escape for a breather?