do you like valentine’s day?

I have mixed feelings. Here they are.

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1. All hearts everything. I love hearts 364 days of the year. But on this one day, all they do is mock me.
2. Flowers. I love flowers as much as I love hearts. It’s the leftover flowers that give me anxiety. Those poor bouquets that weren’t good enough for someone would have been perfectly good for me. The red vase, the gaudy pink bow. I’ll happily take it from any bloke as long as he spells my name right.
3. The non-single-ness. Every year I literally feel like I’m the only single girl. Couples come out of the woodwork like ants, and they taunt me.
4. Your freaking family. This is, once again, the time of year that reminds your family you’re still single and no closer to providing grandbabies.
5. The emotional floodgates burst. They crumble. All the past relationships, flings, and crushes all come rushing down in tidal wave of emotion. Why did it not work oooouut? What did I doooo? He totally thought I was too fat. Screw guys. I’m getting froyo.
6. Bar hoochies. Girls. If you’re gonna go to a bar with your girlfriends, try not to look like you’re giving it out for free, you see what I’m saying? Button up and pretend like you know how to walk in those heels, deal?

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1. Single friends. Your betches got your back when you just want to vent about how Mr. J.Crew model on the 26th floor hasn’t noticed you yet.
2. Drink specials. Good thing money off booze applies to everyone on v-day. Expensive wine specials? For couples. Hard liquor and free shots? For singles. You know where I’ll be.
3. Cards. I totally slacked on cards this year, but I could literally make a night out of standing in Target reading their Valentine’s cards.
4. Someone else has it worse. Face it. Someone else is probably getting dumped while you’re bumming in sweats. Sounds like the better end of the deal to me.
5. Candy. It’s half off the day after Valentine’s Day. That’s a celebration in itself.
6. The hoochies. It’s really a love-hate relationship with these girls. While I usually want to roundhouse kick the whole group of them, they’re also good for a few laughs. Perfect for taking my mind off the fact that I’m just as single as they are.

I hope you all have a wonderful Valentine’s Day! What are your plans for tonight or the weekend? XXOO

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